It's Been A While...

Hey everybody!

Jon's been bugging me just about everyday to update this thing, but sometimes I just don't know what to write. Sorry it's taken me this long. I made the mistake of drinking coffee at 10 pm and now can't sleep, so here you go...

Last week we announced to our staff and students our decision to leave Oak Pointe. It was a very moving experience. So many of our students have surrounded us with love and support.

This weekend has been really great. For the first time in over a month, we had nothing scheduled. We were able to just relax, hang-out and get caught up on some cleaning. Friday we went shopping and I found two shirts for Jon at only $4.77 each!!! It was an amazing deal. We also finally got a second suitcase sturdy enough to take to Africa. Poor Jon had to carry his suitcase everywhere last year because the wheels didn't work.

We leave on Wednesday morning for Texas. We will be staying there through Sunday to interview and check out a church there. I am very excited about the warmer weather. I think it will be a good trip. I look forward to meeting people there. I had the opportunity to talk to a couple of gals on the phone this weekend. It was very cool because I just felt an almost instant connection with them.

I finished "The Hiding Place" by Corrie TenBoom this weekend. What an amazing book! I learned so much about contentment and loving your enemies. Corrie's sister, Betsie was so strong in her faith that she was able to thank God for her flea ridden bed in the concentration camp. She also regularly prayed for the guards who tortured and killed the prisoners. God gave her a vision of a place for healing for those who were prisoners as well as guards in the concentration camp. She did not live through the experience to see the dream realized, but Corrie fulfilled it. I highly recommend this book to anyone! There were times I could not put it down.

Started some new books this weekend. I began reading "Blue Like Jazz" by Donald Miller. Not too far into it yet to describe it. I also started reading John Piper's, "Life As A Vapor." It should be a challenging read. I am looking forward to the opportunity to listen to some messages on the plane this week as well.

It's hard to believe that we are leaving for Africa in less than 3 weeks!!! I am very excited about our trip. We are finalizing our schedule this week. We hope to partner with a church there and work with their student ministry. I am really looking forward to seeing Jeredon (our guide - sort of) again. He is a man with a big heart and lots of joy! We joke about him reminding us of Rafiki from The Lion King. It is cool to go having the perspective of being there before. We plan on bringing our video camera this time, so we should have some sweet videos of ministry and cool African animals.

I'm sure I'll try to update you on Texas. We are bringing our laptop since the hotel has free high speed internet access. Maybe I'll have some cool pictures too!

Tears in a Bottle

"You keep track of all my sorrows.
You have collected my tears in your bottle.
You have recorded each one in your book."
Psalm 56:8

I was listening to an incredible message by Jill Briscoe online last night. It was about Hannah's disappointment. It spoke to me on many different levels. At one point, however, Jill recites a poem she wrote about tears. I would love to find it and post it. In the poem, she describes God collecting our tears and then pouring them out over the page of the book of our lives. It was such a moving picture to me. She later expounded on how usually in times of great sorrow, we do not know what to say or how to pray to God. In those moments, our tears become our prayers. God collects them and then pours them onto the page to read our prayers to Him. I have never thought about this whole concept before! It was so comforting to me to come to the realization that it's ok if I don't know what to say to God and all I can do is cry before Him. He is able to read the most precious prayer that way.

Lord God, You are so incredible. You are beyond my finite comprehension. Thank You for Your patience and love towards us when it takes us so long to "get it." Thank You that despite my sin problem, You care so deeply for me that You collect all of my tears in a bottle. You understand me even when I don't understand myself. Thank You for listening to my heart's cry and honoring me with Your response and work in my life. I am deeply humbled and moved by Your great love for me! In Jesus' Name, Amen.

A Week in the Life of Amber...

Well, unfortunately, we could not find any affordable plane tickets to Arizona and were unable to attend my grandpa's funeral on Friday. Jon and I were talking the other day and expressing how thankful we are to have had so many opportunities to visit with my grandpa over the past couple of years. Talked with my parents and grandma tonight. They seem to be holding up ok. My grandma told me bits and pieces about the service and how much it meant to her. She is one strong woman whom I admire sooooooooo much. I just love my grandma!

Wednesday was our senior dinner. It went really well. I think it was a special night for the seniors and their families. The food was pretty good too! It was really encouraging to see so many underclassmen there to support the seniors. Afterwards, we cleaned up real quick and went over to the theater to see Star Wars. Yes, I was one of the psycho people who saw the 12:01 showing. Jon is a total freak about the whole thing. We didn't think ahead, though, about sitting in the theater for two hours waiting for the show to start. The movie was pretty good - still overrated in my opinion. Jon was all upset the whole next day about all the Jedi's dying. He knew that would happen, but I guess the visual images bothered him. You'd have thought he lost a family member or something!

Thursday I had to get my last Hep A & B shot. I am good for like 15+ years now! Woo-hoo! My arm did hurt for a couple of days, though.

Friday we finally got the oil changed on our cars and then drove to the Outlets. Usually, we find tons of good stuff at the Old Navy Outlet, but had no such luck. I did get some sweet winter, weather proof shoes at Bass for only $15 though!

Saturday we had Zambia practice. Our team is so awesome. I am very excited for our time ministering together. We are doing tons of fun songs w/ motions because the Zambians love that and totally get into it. We are also learning a few mimes to perform. Then Saturday night, we had a God Party. Focused on three names of God: El Roi (God who sees), Jehova Jireh (God the provider) and Jehova Shalom (God of Peace). We talked about Scripture showing that character of God, sang songs about that trait and then did some kind of action. It was a pretty neat concept - I enjoyed seeing all the interns take ownership of the night!

Today was church. I took a nice long nap in the afternoon. Then off to our last Bible study. It was really great to hear students share all that they are learning through their study of the Bible.

That's about all that is going on here. I'll try to be more interesting next time. Not doing a whole lot of reading (meaning I am not reading more than one book right now). I am reading The Hiding Place by Corie TenBoom. It is a biography and is really good!!! Stretching myself with reading a genre I usually overlook. I have really enjoyed it so far. I'll be sure to post any good quotes I come across.

Welcome Home

I awoke to a phone call from my grandma this morning. Many of you know that my grandpa has been fighting stage 4 cancer. We were blessed to be able to spend a week with them in mid April. My grandpa took his final breaths this morning. He is finally home. Right now he is in the presence of our Lord and Savior and feels no pain. Praise be to God!

At this point, we have been unable to find flights we can afford. Unless something pops up in the next couple of days, we will not be able to go to the services this weekend. I am mostly glad that I had the opportunity to spend quality time with him in April and would not take that back for anything. Thanks to everyone for your prayers for him and my family! I appreciate every single one.

Buddies, Baking & Babies!

Whew! Another (3rd week in a row) busy weekend! We had the opportunity to travel back to Ohio for our good friends' Matt & Em's baby shower. It was super great to see them and others from our former church. They are going to be such great parents! We can't wait to meet little Addelyne Raine in person! (please wait till we get back from Africa Addy!)

Then, it was back to the baking one last time for our bake sale today. I once again made strawberry pies which didn't last long. I will be glad to not see any strawberries for a while!

Lastly, we had our volunteer staff bbq this afternoon. It was so great to get a chance to just hang out together and play some of Hoang's crazy German board games!

Now I am off to girl's Bible study for the conclusion of my weekend. I am definitely taking some down time this week to make up for all the busy-ness!

Ok, so maybe I'm getting a little obsessive, but this pie looked too perfect to not get a picture of it! I've been making these for bake sales at church each week. I told Jon that this one looked so good it should be in a magazine. He suggested taking a picture and putting it on my blog, so here it is. Eat your heart out! 

This is me with Ashley and Laurie - two girls who we got to minister with while serving in Ohio. 

Matt & Em opening baby shower gifts! They got tons of cute stuff for their coming daughter. 

Emily admires some cute, pink girly clothes for little Addy Raine! 

This is me with Erin (left) and Allison (right). They are two very special girls that God gave me the privilege of joining on their spiritual journeys while serving at a church in Ohio. They are now going to be sophomores in college - man time flies! 

This is Matt & Em - They are expecting thier first baby in July (end of June if Em gets her way!). They are having a little girl - Addelyne Raine. We were so excited to get to be a part of thier shower this weekend! 

This is me and my good friend Becky - a true gift from God! We've known each other for almost two years and don't have any pics together till now. 

Happy Mother's Day (or is it?)

Another long weekend!!! Took the seniors on Senior Stretch - a 24 hour retreat to a secret destination where we give them a book and talk to them about the practical side of college life (time management, money, relationships, etc). It was a good time. Took them to Beulah Beach along Lake Erie. Came home last night and once again crammed in a late night baking session for our Zambia bake sale at church today. My strawberry pies seem to be a hit.

Today was a bit of a tough day. Most people reading this I think know by now that we have made the painful discovery that we are infertile. We immediately read some books about the whole issue and I remember both of them talking about how Mother's Day is this super hard day for people struggling with infertility. I thought it would be no problem for me. After all, I am glad that other people are mothers. I want them to be. I can think about my own mother rather than focusing on my lack of children, etc. etc. etc. I was determined to not let it get me down. Well, that was under the assumption that I had control over myself. Sat down in church and noticed in the bulletin that we had baby dedications. I think I said out loud, "Oh great!" Quickly convinced myself that it wasn't a big deal, besides I like seeing cute babies. The dedications went fine and were acutally pretty funny due to certain 2-3 year old siblings kicking their brothers on stage!

Well, the next part of the service was this whole video about "legacies". It followed one family of women through four generations. The great grandmother, her daughter (the grandma), her daughter (the mom) and her daughter (who was about 2-3 years old). They showed a face shot of each going down the line, showing the family resemblance. I thought, well I won't have that, but that's ok. Then came the killer part of the video....at the very end, they asked the little girl, "what do you want to be when you grow up?" Her reply? "A mommy, like you." I immediately started bawling uncontrollably. So many thoughts going through my head (I said that same thing at that age, I am saying that same thing today, or who will explain to that cute little girl that her dream may not quite become a reality....). Jon asked if I wanted to walk out - I did, but knew it would only draw more attention to myself, so I withstood the service - including the sermon all about being a mom! I guess the good thing is that I survived my first Mother's Day while realizing the challenge it will be for me to be a mom. I look forward to the day when God gives me sweet little children to accept home-made gifts from. I know they are out there! They are in His heart and mine too.

Our culture doesn't stop to think about lack of control over our lives. Everyone automatically assumes they can have children when and how they want. It's not like you want to tell a 3 yr old like in that video - "Well, honey, you might not get to be a mom." What is the answer then? How do we encourage and nurture that beautiful femininity and life-giving desire God created within us? At the same time, how do we do that in a way that does not de-feminize women, like me, who may struggle to have children, or who are forever single or who feel God calling them to remain childless? There has to be a balance. Yet, so much of our feminity is tied up in being a mother. I have never felt the lack of femininty that I felt today. I don't have the answers....just some thoughts I am wrestling with in this journey.

A cool pic that Jon took along Lake Erie (where we took the seniors this weekend). Jon and I had fun sitting on these rocks and chatting while the students wrote letters to themselves that we will mail after their first semester of college. 

Hanging with the oh so mature seniors last weekend! We are riding a little hoarsey outside a drug store after a DQ sugar rush. Had a great weekend hanging out and discussing college life.  

Why don't I call on His name?

Here's another entry straight from Streams in the Desert. I read it today and thought many could benefit from such a reminder (including myself). If you have never read parts of the devotional, Streams in the Desert, I highly recommend it! It is put together by the same editor as My Utmost for His Highest. You probably want to supplement it with regular Bible reading, but it certainly is a comfort and encourager in times of suffering and sadness. Enjoy!

"Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. (Joel 2:32)

So why don't I call on His name? Why do I run to this person or that person, when God is so near and will hear my faintest call? Why do I sit down to plot my own course and make my own plans? Why don't I immediately place myself and my burdens on the Lord?

Straight ahead is the best way to run, so why don't I run directly to the living God? Instead, I look in vain for deliverance everywhere else, but with God I will find it. With Him I have His royal promise: "I will be saved." And with Him I never need to ask if I may call on Him or not, for the word "everyone" is all encompassing. It includes me and means anybody and everybody who calls on His name. Therefore I will trust in this verse and will immediately call on the glorious Lord who has made such a great promise.

My situation is urgent, and I cannot see how I will ever be delivered. Yet this is not my concern, for He who made the promise will find a way to keep it. My part is simply to obey His commands, not to direct His ways. I am His servant, not His advisor. I call upon Him and He will deliver me. Charles Spurgeon

Another Super Crazy Weekend!

Wow! This was another jam-packed weekend! It all started Friday with our Zambia training retreat. Everyone on the church-wide team came out to a retreat center. We had cultural training, personality testing, bonding, bonding and more bonding! It was a super great idea. Last year I didn't even know all the team members' names when we left. This was a great experience. Our theme was unity and I definitely feel more unified than before. We also had some time to bond as sub-teams through a ropes course. It was very fun - although our team kept getting in trouble for being too enthusiastic (I guess they thought we weren't taking safety seriously). Our team is way tighter than before. I'm excited about all we are going to accomplish in Africa.

Got home Saturday night and had to bake stuff for our student Zambia fundraiser at church. We did a bake sale and a Mother's Day gift basket sale. We are doing it for the next two weeks too. I made strawberry pies, banana bread & chocolate chip cookies. Needless to say, I was up very late baking.

Top the weekend off with Youth Sunday! I lucked out with few responsibilities, but still have to be prepared to answer questions and promote the ministry. We really need volunteers considering half of our current staff is not returning next year. The services turned out pretty good and we sold out of all of our baked goods! A very good feeling.

Took a nap this afternoon. I decided to skip girls' Bible study tonight. Haven't seen Jon all weekend and I am just wiped out! That's what's been going on here...

Loren hangs out as she eats here "Mike & Ike's" - the biggest joke of the weekend is her saying Mike & Ike's with her southern accent. Poor Loren - the language barriers! 

Ginny is so excited for the retreat to start! 

Chilling in the room. 

Killing time jumping to touch the net. Go Emma! 

Just a cool pic of some of our team members. I love how Loren's mouth is wide open! 

Everyone had to be lifted through the tire without touching. Much harder than it looks. 

Emma - the last person on the other side- makes it over all by herself 

Working together to make it over the log. 

Here's the team lifting up Betty. This was a way cool experience - almost felt like you were floating. 

Teamwork! Teamwork! Remember that song from Reading Rainbow? 

This is my cat, Snickers being cute as can be! Before I could get my stuff together for my Mother's Day Gift Basket, he made himself a little bed. I had to bribe him with crinkly paper to get him out!

Some of the girls on our awesome Zambia team! Jessica, Jessica and Julie 

Here's a pic of our Zambia Fundraiser Bake Sale and Mother's Day Gift Basket Sale. My strawberry pies were the first to go! Woo-hoo! 

Joe (The Student Ministries Pastor) and the gang leading worship. 

Cool backstage photo of the youth worship leaders. 

Picture of Loren during her mini-testimony! She rocks! She took my challenge of speaking without notes and did awesome!!! I was so proud of her. 

This is a pic of (in my opinion) the best part of Youth Sunday. Here's Jeff singing U2's "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" with the student band. In between verses teens gave mini-testimonies of how they found Jesus - what they were looking for! It was sweet!!!! Oh yeah....